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Crushing On What Might Be

by Hemlock Pop

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about

"Whip-smart original indie pop with strong, lush, melodic male vocals (heavy on the harmonies), 80's-style keys and drum programming, sparkly rock guitar work, and clever Elvis Costello-ish lyrical twists."

As a veteran of more traditional "rock" bands, I always wanted to make a cohesive "pop" album. So, I holed up with a Macbook Pro, pilfered microphones and preamps from friends, found a few guitars, a bass, and a MIDI controller and this is the result! The newest song on this album was written just a couple years ago, and the oldest way back when I was 18 or so.

"Something About Ruby" video on YouTube: youtu.be/bN-GX6bJsUY

*** Click on each individual song title above to view a quick bit of trivia about each song, and it's lyrics.***

credits

released July 21, 2017

CREDITS:
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All songs © & ℗ 2017 by Ira Merrill, Ira Merrill Music BMI except track 6 by Ira Merrill and David Miller, Hendrix Sand Publishing ASCAP and track 10 by Laurence Tolhurst, Robert Smith, Simon Gallup, Universal Music MGB Songs OBO “Fiction Songs, LTD.” ASCAP

Recorded by Ira Merrill, Terry Mattson, and Don Farwell in various places including Ira’s jam space at Seattle Rehearsal (aka The Lab), Crackle & Pop Studios in Seattle, Scott Soderstrom's loft in Pioneer Square where Terry lived, a musty, creepy rundown shack on Capitol Hill that had the Toy Box’s gear in it for a while, and Earwig Studio (when it was still in Georgetown!)

Produced by Ira Merrill and Don Farwell
Mixed by Don Farwell at Earwig Studio in Seattle
Mastered by Levi Seitz at Blackbelt Mastering in Seattle
Photos by Steve Rydgren of ImaginEssence Photography
Hemlock Pop logo by Chris Weiford
CD art/layout by Ira Merrill

Ira Merrill performed all vocals (except for guest vocal by Hope Simpson of Ever So Android (www.eversoandroid.com) on track 10), all MIDI programming for drums and synths, acoustic and electric guitars, electric bass, and...everything else

THANKS TO:
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Don Farwell/Earwig Studio, Terry Mattson, Levi Seitz/Blackbelt Mastering, Steve Rydgren/Imaginessence Photography, Brinn Cody O’Dwyer, David & Alethea (and Ollie), Pete Reichert, Drew & Hope of Ever So Android, Jodi Opitz and Terry Houser, Emily Diehl & Beez, Chad, Kat and Wren Hanson, Denny Dwyer, John Tjenos, Dane, Steve, Ian and Mike, Arthur Hagman, Susan M. Carr, Mike Lucero, Cynthia McCarty, The Merrills, Patrick Porter, Scott Soderstrom, Ken Stringfellow, and Anthony Disparte for inadvertently inspiring me to make this album in the first place

Instrumental versions of all songs also available (contact me)

VISIT ME:
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www.hemlockpop.com
www.orangepantsrecords.com
www.facebook.com/hemlockpop
www.facebook.com/iramerrill
youtu.be/bN-GX6bJsUY

VISIT FOLKS WHO HELPED ME MAKE/PROMOTE THIS ALBUM:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
www.earwigstudio.com
www.blackbeltmastering.com
www.imaginessence.com
www.fmcollective.org
www.atmosfx.com

THIS ALBUM ALSO AVAILABLE FROM...
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...all the usual suspects including iTunes, Spotify, Google Play, Amazon MP3, Pandora, Rhapsody, Slacker Radio, YouTube Music, and more.

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Hemlock Pop Seattle, Washington

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Track Name: Bleed You Out
Bleed You Out
-----------------

Wish I didn't fall for what I feel or see
Cuz everything's eventually a memory
A river of fire for the way things pass
The brightest ideas through a darkening glass
I crawl for every kiss
Drown in every doubt
And if I slit my wrists

Will I bleed you out
Bleed you out
Bleed all of you out

Anger with ease but I'm trying like hell
To fill the imprints of the places I fell
Well I never thought the universe could be so cruel
To savage romance for a suffering fool
I hear the locust horde
Shiver and I shout
If I fall on my sword

Will I bleed you out
Bleed you out
Bleed all of you out

Looking for the light inside that guides
Looking for the trees the forest hides
Reigning in the throes again
Trying to backhand memories and
Mourning what is now and could have been

Maybe one day I can jimmy this door
And wind the clock back to better than before
Been feeling so tense been feeling so lost
I forgave the whole world (but my fingers were crossed)
Farewell to all goodbyes
'Cause I was so devout
And if I gouge out my eyes

Will I bleed you out Bleed you out
Bleed you out Bleed you out
Bleed all of you out

Start over again la
Start all over again la la la

(repeat a buncha times...)

© 2017 Ira Merrill Music, BMI
Track Name: Here Kitty Kitty
Here Kitty Kitty
-----------------

Can’t find my guiding light
But girl I’m gonna see you tonight
To the sound of your voice I’ll sway
And I’ll just be a few feet away

Wake up and feel like crap
Every day what to do for that
I guess honesty gets misread
Now she’s keen to pretend I’m dead

It’s not like I don’t know that everybody wants you
And I don’t have a chance it’s true
And even if we did combine I divine
That you’d break my heart in two
Or probably three

So as me and my doubts succumb
To the sound of guitars and drums
I’ll be crushing on what might be
And how the dream’s always better than reality

It’s not like I don’t know they all wanna watch you
Doing anything you could possibly be doing
And even if we clicked in time I predict
You could be a pathway to ruin

Third time’s the harm and by now I’ve lost count
It’s got to be a remarkable amount
You don’t gotta love me just hold me somehow
Meow meow meow

It’s not like I don’t know that everybody loves you
And beauty is only skin deep
And even if we did duet well I’ll bet
That you’d be impossible to keep
The interest would be much too steep
The joint would be too hard to puff
Eventually I wouldn’t be cool enough
We’d listen to Siouxie Sioux
You’d break my heard it two
Or probably three

La la la la la la…
La la la la la la…

© 2017 Ira Merrill Music, BMI
Track Name: Pigeon v. Statue
Pigeon v. Statue
-------------------

Did you a favor and ran away
Or was I trying to catch you
Sometimes you're the pigeon dear
And sometimes you're the statue

So much was up and we didn't say
And then you run out of patience
No more a sucker for sitting still
I'm a statue of limitations

And when the love is no longer true
You can regret but you can't undo
Try not to think and you'll make it through
Don't go crying over something that's not crying over you

Motionless in my pensive pose
While you were angry and molting
I put my foot in my mouth that day
It tasted pretty insulting (nom nom nom nom)

You shut your wings and your talons splayed
It was the ultimate bummer
Well I best be on my way before
This analogy gets any dumber oh oh oh

And when the love is no longer true
You can regret but you can't undo
Try not to think and you'll make it through
Don't go crying over something that's not crying over you

Heavy hearts become a stony hollow
'Cause the vaccine can be so hard to swallow

And when the love is no longer true
You can regret but you can't undo
Try not to think and you'll make it through
Don't...don't...don't...
Go crying over something that's nooooooot
Crying ooooooooooooover you

© 2017 Ira Merrill Music, BMI
Track Name: Something About Ruby
Something About Ruby
---------------------------

It's been such a long time and I don't know
If I'll write the right rhyme should I go Ruby
Maybe we could fall apart
Or tap into the vein of a lovers heart

Maybe rough or gentle but baby you
Could be instrumental
And why wouldn't you be
Diamonds line your ruby throat
And I'll be hanging on for every note oh

Oh Ruby something has begun
You could be the one
To set the night on fire
Add color to the setting sun
The need for need is done
There's only true desire Ruby

Lost in this elation
Baby I want some information
But words are just static
Sink into the feather bed
Let me lay my hands upon your head

The frequency can flow through and in a
Sense I'll get to know you
Like it's automatic
Come out of your blue bell jar
Ruby baby do be what you are oh

Oh Ruby something has begun
You could be the one
To melt the frozen fire
Add color to the setting sun
The need for need is done
And truly I desire Ruby

And when you wake up and take up your cross and bliss
You'll linger long like a song I'll forever miss

It's been such a long time...

Oh Ruby something has begun
You could be the one
To set the night on fire
Add color to the setting sun
The need for need is done
There's only true desire
And truly I desire Ruby
Ruby

© 2017 Ira Merrill Music, BMI
Track Name: If Tomorrow Comes
If Tomorrow Comes
-----------------------

If tomorrow comes I can take it
If all emotion numbs I can shake it
If I have to beg for crumbs I'll make it
Yeah I know I will 'cause I got you

If the gray sky falls I'll get through it
And if the engine stalls I'll take a bus
When fate racks up the balls I can cue it
Yeah I know I can 'cause I got you

I always knew someone someday would love me
That I'd give myself away and not be lonely
It gets dark the seasons change
The city people seem so strange
The blackest grime the grossest grit
And you and I in the midst of it

If tomorrow comes I can take it
If all emotion numbs I can shake it
If I have to beg for crumbs I'll make it
Yeah I know I will
Yeah I know I will
Yeah I know I will 'cause I got you
Got you

© 2017 Ira Merrill Music, BMI
Track Name: Learning Curve (You Carried Me)
Learning Curve (You Carried Me)
-------------------------------------

You only wanted to have your say
I wouldn't give you the time of day
You wanted to put our bond back in the black
But I saw red instead and turned my back

And then you carried me when I was down
You carried me and spun my head around
You carried me spirit and bone
Though I left you alone
You carried me home

The circumstances dealt a poison sting
And second chances they just aren't my thing
But then you gave me this lesson in love
And I can't understand just what you're made of

'Cause you carried me when I was down
You carried me when I thought I would drown
You carried me through the war zone
Though I threw the first stone
You carried me home

What have I done to know you
I'm sure I don't deserve
I don't know how to show you
I've got this learning curve

Fortunately you are not like me
My second chance was snap one two three

You carried me when I was down
You carried me when I broke my crown
You carried me how can I atone
You carried me when my chances were blown
You carried me I was under the tide
You carried me when I tossed you aside
You carried me when I started to moan
Though I threw the first stone
Though I left you alone
You're just exactly like no one I've known
You carried me home

© 2017 Ira Merrill Music, BMI
Track Name: This October
This October
---------------

Eight years ago standing by pictures
We couldn't know who would have figured
Scars would align planets implode and combine

Well I drew to you you thought of me too
By the red car it looked like the wind blew
Flowers on your dress (but they were already there I guess)

Souls may rise out of the gravest times
Devil may snare but pray
Light never leave this October
October

The dance in our eyes lances and sutures
Reluctant goodbyes and hopes for a future
Heavy as a cross baby lighter than candy floss

Sweet soul ties healing the carnal crimes
People may stare but say
Light never leave this October

Now here breathe me in and send me through your atmosphere
In your arms I'm higher than a heroine on pills and beer
Fight for faith can we scare away fear

Souls may rise out of the darkest times
Lay down your yesterdays
Light never leave this October
Light never leave this October
Light never leave

Nature's on her knees
The leaves meet gravities
And here's All Hallow's Eve
Remember being naieve
Our lives stopped…started again
Wish we'd been us back then
But through love's kill and kiss
I'm glad I hold you
This October

© 2017 Ira Merrill Music, BMI
Track Name: Nightmare Phone (I'll Know It's You)
Nightmare Phone (I'll Know It's You)
-----------------------------------------

Lower now we've been through so much
Trying to reach so high
It's OK to take a breath
But we just choke and cry

Since the fall your spring as faded
And all the green just leaves
How can we come out rejoicing
Bringing in the sheaves

I've been taking apart my nightmares
And I'm building a dream forsooth oh
And a meaning is in here somewhere
But I can't find the truth
And you're running in all directions
Except the one I want you to
And when the phone doesn't ring
I'll know it's you

Never meant to take on so much
Or to keep you sick
Or cultivate a wall between us
Bitter brick by brick
The best intent can still prevent
The blooming of the seed
And when the trust went poisonous
We should have let it bleed (let it bleed let it bleed)

I've been taking apart my nightmares
And I'm so much the wear for worse oh
And this silence may be a blessing
But it feels like a curse
And you're trying to avoid detection
But it won't matter what you do
Cuz when the text doesn't come
I'll know it's you

How many have been through this
Let's end the suffering
Why can't we go from last to first kiss

Lower now...
I never meant...

I've been taking apart my nightmares
And I'm building a dream forsooth oh
And a meaning is in here somewhere
But I can't find the truth
And you're running in all directions
Except the one I want you to
And when the phone doesn't ring
When the text doesn't come
When the email server is down
When the smoke signals blow away
When the carrier pigeon drops the note
When the singing telegram has a sore throat
When you never say another word to me as long as you live
I'll know it's you

© 2017 Ira Merrill Music, BMI
Track Name: Murder Of Me
Murder Of Me
----------------

All the try and roll of die was sincere
Everywhere I walk your stamp is still here
When I close my eyes the clues creep so clear
You were never mine
But I could catch your throw

Righteous regress
To a time before the time I saw your beauty
In summer dress shining and free
Alwaystheless
Every memory is served to guarantee
The murder of me
Murder of me

Expectations sent our calm into clashes
Burning hearts became a pain in our ashes
Meadows green spilled into dangerous passage
And made us blind
(I could see you though)

Righteous regress
To a time before the time I saw your beauty
Insolent mess my jubilee
Alwaystheless
Every grain of sand is falling to demand
The murder of me

Missing you so
I guess I don't know
Do I gotta know like every damn reason
I do what I do to make sense of feelings oh I...

(Reverse earthquake
Leaves fall and bones break
Won't call for your sake
Time tells her secrets to no one)

Must move on to a time before the time I knew your touch
Accept that you're gone and the best is yet to come
But it's brains over brawn
When my memory is on it's killing spree
And murdering me murder of me yeah it's
Murder of me murder of me yeah it's
Murder of me murder of me
Murder of me
Yeah

© 2017 Ira Merrill Music, BMI
Track Name: Charlotte Sometimes (Cure cover feat. Hope Simpson of Ever So Android)
Charlotte Sometimes
(Cure cover feat. Hope Simpson of Ever So Android)
------------------------------------------------------------

All the faces
All the voices blur
Change to one face
Change to one voice
Prepare yourself for bed
The light seems bright
And glares on white walls
All the sounds of
Charlotte sometimes
Into the night with
Charlotte sometimes

Night after night she lay alone in bed
Her eyes so open to the dark
The streets all looked so strange
They seemed so far away
But Charlotte did not cry

The people seemed so close
Playing expressionless games
The people seemed
So close
So many
Other names

Sometimes I'm dreaming
Where all the other people dance
Sometimes I'm dreaming
Charlotte sometimes
Sometimes I'm dreaming
Expressionless the trance
Sometimes I'm dreaming
So many different names
Sometimes I'm dreaming
The sounds all stay the same
Sometimes I'm dreaming
She hopes to open shadowed eyes
On a different world
Come to me
Scared princess
Charlotte sometimes

On that bleak track
See the sun is gone again
The tears were pouring down her face
She was crying and crying for a girl
Who died so many years before

Sometimes I dream
Where all the other people dance
Sometimes I dream
Charlotte sometimes
Sometimes I dream
The sounds all stay the same
Sometimes I'm dreaming
There are so many different names
Sometimes I dream
Sometimes I dream

Charlotte sometimes crying for herself
Charlotte sometimes dreams a wall around herself
But it's always with love
With so much love it looks like
Everything else
Of Charlotte sometimes
So far away
Glass sealed and pretty
Charlotte sometimes

© 1981 Laurence Tolhurst, Robert Smith, Simon Gallup, Universal Music MGB Songs OBO “Fiction Songs, LTD.” ASCAP
Track Name: Disappear
Disappear
------------

In the second reel where I almost feel
That's when I disappear
When I make that choice let you hear my voice
That's when I disappear
The sex and soul and sad parades
The rhymes and wrists and razor blades
This song will sing me in and pull the shades

When I feel the strain of a loved one's pain
That's when I disappear
When the right hook swings and I can't fix things
That's when I disappear
I'm curing in a dark abyss
I'm catatonic cowardice
I'm gearing up to scratch and claw and hiss

For all the scenes I've seen
For all the people's mean
For every life I live and die and in between
I'm Christmas and I'm Halloween
I'm missing though I'm here

Disappear

When I get off track and past comes back
That's when I disappear
When I still believe but the doubts won't leave
That's when I...
I'm choking on the loneliness
I'm holding on with every breath
Cuz I don't wanna hide myself to death

For all the scenes I've seen
For all the people's mean
For every life I live and die and in between
I'm Christmas and I'm Halloween
I feel so dirty though I'm clean
I'm gone (but I'll be here)

Disappear
Disappear
Disappear
Disappear

© 2017 Ira Merrill Music, BMI