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Crushing On What Might Be

by Hemlock Pop

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1.
Bleed You Out ----------------- Wish I didn't fall for what I feel or see Cuz everything's eventually a memory A river of fire for the way things pass The brightest ideas through a darkening glass I crawl for every kiss Drown in every doubt And if I slit my wrists Will I bleed you out Bleed you out Bleed all of you out Anger with ease but I'm trying like hell To fill the imprints of the places I fell Well I never thought the universe could be so cruel To savage romance for a suffering fool I hear the locust horde Shiver and I shout If I fall on my sword Will I bleed you out Bleed you out Bleed all of you out Looking for the light inside that guides Looking for the trees the forest hides Reigning in the throes again Trying to backhand memories and Mourning what is now and could have been Maybe one day I can jimmy this door And wind the clock back to better than before Been feeling so tense been feeling so lost I forgave the whole world (but my fingers were crossed) Farewell to all goodbyes 'Cause I was so devout And if I gouge out my eyes Will I bleed you out Bleed you out Bleed you out Bleed you out Bleed all of you out Start over again la Start all over again la la la (repeat a buncha times...) © 2017 Ira Merrill Music, BMI
2.
Here Kitty Kitty ----------------- Can’t find my guiding light But girl I’m gonna see you tonight To the sound of your voice I’ll sway And I’ll just be a few feet away Wake up and feel like crap Every day what to do for that I guess honesty gets misread Now she’s keen to pretend I’m dead It’s not like I don’t know that everybody wants you And I don’t have a chance it’s true And even if we did combine I divine That you’d break my heart in two Or probably three So as me and my doubts succumb To the sound of guitars and drums I’ll be crushing on what might be And how the dream’s always better than reality It’s not like I don’t know they all wanna watch you Doing anything you could possibly be doing And even if we clicked in time I predict You could be a pathway to ruin Third time’s the harm and by now I’ve lost count It’s got to be a remarkable amount You don’t gotta love me just hold me somehow Meow meow meow It’s not like I don’t know that everybody loves you And beauty is only skin deep And even if we did duet well I’ll bet That you’d be impossible to keep The interest would be much too steep The joint would be too hard to puff Eventually I wouldn’t be cool enough We’d listen to Siouxie Sioux You’d break my heard it two Or probably three La la la la la la… La la la la la la… © 2017 Ira Merrill Music, BMI
3.
Pigeon v. Statue ------------------- Did you a favor and ran away Or was I trying to catch you Sometimes you're the pigeon dear And sometimes you're the statue So much was up and we didn't say And then you run out of patience No more a sucker for sitting still I'm a statue of limitations And when the love is no longer true You can regret but you can't undo Try not to think and you'll make it through Don't go crying over something that's not crying over you Motionless in my pensive pose While you were angry and molting I put my foot in my mouth that day It tasted pretty insulting (nom nom nom nom) You shut your wings and your talons splayed It was the ultimate bummer Well I best be on my way before This analogy gets any dumber oh oh oh And when the love is no longer true You can regret but you can't undo Try not to think and you'll make it through Don't go crying over something that's not crying over you Heavy hearts become a stony hollow 'Cause the vaccine can be so hard to swallow And when the love is no longer true You can regret but you can't undo Try not to think and you'll make it through Don't...don't...don't... Go crying over something that's nooooooot Crying ooooooooooooover you © 2017 Ira Merrill Music, BMI
4.
Something About Ruby --------------------------- It's been such a long time and I don't know If I'll write the right rhyme should I go Ruby Maybe we could fall apart Or tap into the vein of a lovers heart Maybe rough or gentle but baby you Could be instrumental And why wouldn't you be Diamonds line your ruby throat And I'll be hanging on for every note oh Oh Ruby something has begun You could be the one To set the night on fire Add color to the setting sun The need for need is done There's only true desire Ruby Lost in this elation Baby I want some information But words are just static Sink into the feather bed Let me lay my hands upon your head The frequency can flow through and in a Sense I'll get to know you Like it's automatic Come out of your blue bell jar Ruby baby do be what you are oh Oh Ruby something has begun You could be the one To melt the frozen fire Add color to the setting sun The need for need is done And truly I desire Ruby And when you wake up and take up your cross and bliss You'll linger long like a song I'll forever miss It's been such a long time... Oh Ruby something has begun You could be the one To set the night on fire Add color to the setting sun The need for need is done There's only true desire And truly I desire Ruby Ruby © 2017 Ira Merrill Music, BMI
5.
If Tomorrow Comes ----------------------- If tomorrow comes I can take it If all emotion numbs I can shake it If I have to beg for crumbs I'll make it Yeah I know I will 'cause I got you If the gray sky falls I'll get through it And if the engine stalls I'll take a bus When fate racks up the balls I can cue it Yeah I know I can 'cause I got you I always knew someone someday would love me That I'd give myself away and not be lonely It gets dark the seasons change The city people seem so strange The blackest grime the grossest grit And you and I in the midst of it If tomorrow comes I can take it If all emotion numbs I can shake it If I have to beg for crumbs I'll make it Yeah I know I will Yeah I know I will Yeah I know I will 'cause I got you Got you © 2017 Ira Merrill Music, BMI
6.
Learning Curve (You Carried Me) ------------------------------------- You only wanted to have your say I wouldn't give you the time of day You wanted to put our bond back in the black But I saw red instead and turned my back And then you carried me when I was down You carried me and spun my head around You carried me spirit and bone Though I left you alone You carried me home The circumstances dealt a poison sting And second chances they just aren't my thing But then you gave me this lesson in love And I can't understand just what you're made of 'Cause you carried me when I was down You carried me when I thought I would drown You carried me through the war zone Though I threw the first stone You carried me home What have I done to know you I'm sure I don't deserve I don't know how to show you I've got this learning curve Fortunately you are not like me My second chance was snap one two three You carried me when I was down You carried me when I broke my crown You carried me how can I atone You carried me when my chances were blown You carried me I was under the tide You carried me when I tossed you aside You carried me when I started to moan Though I threw the first stone Though I left you alone You're just exactly like no one I've known You carried me home © 2017 Ira Merrill Music, BMI
7.
This October 03:48
This October --------------- Eight years ago standing by pictures We couldn't know who would have figured Scars would align planets implode and combine Well I drew to you you thought of me too By the red car it looked like the wind blew Flowers on your dress (but they were already there I guess) Souls may rise out of the gravest times Devil may snare but pray Light never leave this October October The dance in our eyes lances and sutures Reluctant goodbyes and hopes for a future Heavy as a cross baby lighter than candy floss Sweet soul ties healing the carnal crimes People may stare but say Light never leave this October Now here breathe me in and send me through your atmosphere In your arms I'm higher than a heroine on pills and beer Fight for faith can we scare away fear Souls may rise out of the darkest times Lay down your yesterdays Light never leave this October Light never leave this October Light never leave Nature's on her knees The leaves meet gravities And here's All Hallow's Eve Remember being naieve Our lives stopped…started again Wish we'd been us back then But through love's kill and kiss I'm glad I hold you This October © 2017 Ira Merrill Music, BMI
8.
Nightmare Phone (I'll Know It's You) ----------------------------------------- Lower now we've been through so much Trying to reach so high It's OK to take a breath But we just choke and cry Since the fall your spring as faded And all the green just leaves How can we come out rejoicing Bringing in the sheaves I've been taking apart my nightmares And I'm building a dream forsooth oh And a meaning is in here somewhere But I can't find the truth And you're running in all directions Except the one I want you to And when the phone doesn't ring I'll know it's you Never meant to take on so much Or to keep you sick Or cultivate a wall between us Bitter brick by brick The best intent can still prevent The blooming of the seed And when the trust went poisonous We should have let it bleed (let it bleed let it bleed) I've been taking apart my nightmares And I'm so much the wear for worse oh And this silence may be a blessing But it feels like a curse And you're trying to avoid detection But it won't matter what you do Cuz when the text doesn't come I'll know it's you How many have been through this Let's end the suffering Why can't we go from last to first kiss Lower now... I never meant... I've been taking apart my nightmares And I'm building a dream forsooth oh And a meaning is in here somewhere But I can't find the truth And you're running in all directions Except the one I want you to And when the phone doesn't ring When the text doesn't come When the email server is down When the smoke signals blow away When the carrier pigeon drops the note When the singing telegram has a sore throat When you never say another word to me as long as you live I'll know it's you © 2017 Ira Merrill Music, BMI
9.
Murder Of Me 03:27
Murder Of Me ---------------- All the try and roll of die was sincere Everywhere I walk your stamp is still here When I close my eyes the clues creep so clear You were never mine But I could catch your throw Righteous regress To a time before the time I saw your beauty In summer dress shining and free Alwaystheless Every memory is served to guarantee The murder of me Murder of me Expectations sent our calm into clashes Burning hearts became a pain in our ashes Meadows green spilled into dangerous passage And made us blind (I could see you though) Righteous regress To a time before the time I saw your beauty Insolent mess my jubilee Alwaystheless Every grain of sand is falling to demand The murder of me Missing you so I guess I don't know Do I gotta know like every damn reason I do what I do to make sense of feelings oh I... (Reverse earthquake Leaves fall and bones break Won't call for your sake Time tells her secrets to no one) Must move on to a time before the time I knew your touch Accept that you're gone and the best is yet to come But it's brains over brawn When my memory is on it's killing spree And murdering me murder of me yeah it's Murder of me murder of me yeah it's Murder of me murder of me Murder of me Yeah © 2017 Ira Merrill Music, BMI
10.
Charlotte Sometimes (Cure cover feat. Hope Simpson of Ever So Android) ------------------------------------------------------------ All the faces All the voices blur Change to one face Change to one voice Prepare yourself for bed The light seems bright And glares on white walls All the sounds of Charlotte sometimes Into the night with Charlotte sometimes Night after night she lay alone in bed Her eyes so open to the dark The streets all looked so strange They seemed so far away But Charlotte did not cry The people seemed so close Playing expressionless games The people seemed So close So many Other names Sometimes I'm dreaming Where all the other people dance Sometimes I'm dreaming Charlotte sometimes Sometimes I'm dreaming Expressionless the trance Sometimes I'm dreaming So many different names Sometimes I'm dreaming The sounds all stay the same Sometimes I'm dreaming She hopes to open shadowed eyes On a different world Come to me Scared princess Charlotte sometimes On that bleak track See the sun is gone again The tears were pouring down her face She was crying and crying for a girl Who died so many years before Sometimes I dream Where all the other people dance Sometimes I dream Charlotte sometimes Sometimes I dream The sounds all stay the same Sometimes I'm dreaming There are so many different names Sometimes I dream Sometimes I dream Charlotte sometimes crying for herself Charlotte sometimes dreams a wall around herself But it's always with love With so much love it looks like Everything else Of Charlotte sometimes So far away Glass sealed and pretty Charlotte sometimes © 1981 Laurence Tolhurst, Robert Smith, Simon Gallup, Universal Music MGB Songs OBO “Fiction Songs, LTD.” ASCAP
11.
Disappear 04:02
Disappear ------------ In the second reel where I almost feel That's when I disappear When I make that choice let you hear my voice That's when I disappear The sex and soul and sad parades The rhymes and wrists and razor blades This song will sing me in and pull the shades When I feel the strain of a loved one's pain That's when I disappear When the right hook swings and I can't fix things That's when I disappear I'm curing in a dark abyss I'm catatonic cowardice I'm gearing up to scratch and claw and hiss For all the scenes I've seen For all the people's mean For every life I live and die and in between I'm Christmas and I'm Halloween I'm missing though I'm here Disappear When I get off track and past comes back That's when I disappear When I still believe but the doubts won't leave That's when I... I'm choking on the loneliness I'm holding on with every breath Cuz I don't wanna hide myself to death For all the scenes I've seen For all the people's mean For every life I live and die and in between I'm Christmas and I'm Halloween I feel so dirty though I'm clean I'm gone (but I'll be here) Disappear Disappear Disappear Disappear © 2017 Ira Merrill Music, BMI

about

"Whip-smart original indie pop with strong, lush, melodic male vocals (heavy on the harmonies), 80's-style keys and drum programming, sparkly rock guitar work, and clever Elvis Costello-ish lyrical twists."

As a veteran of more traditional "rock" bands, I always wanted to make a cohesive "pop" album. So, I holed up with a Macbook Pro, pilfered microphones and preamps from friends, found a few guitars, a bass, and a MIDI controller and this is the result! The newest song on this album was written just a couple years ago, and the oldest way back when I was 18 or so.

"Something About Ruby" video on YouTube: youtu.be/bN-GX6bJsUY

*** Click on each individual song title above to view a quick bit of trivia about each song, and it's lyrics.***

credits

released July 21, 2017

CREDITS:
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All songs © & ℗ 2017 by Ira Merrill, Ira Merrill Music BMI except track 6 by Ira Merrill and David Miller, Hendrix Sand Publishing ASCAP and track 10 by Laurence Tolhurst, Robert Smith, Simon Gallup, Universal Music MGB Songs OBO “Fiction Songs, LTD.” ASCAP

Recorded by Ira Merrill, Terry Mattson, and Don Farwell in various places including Ira’s jam space at Seattle Rehearsal (aka The Lab), Crackle & Pop Studios in Seattle, Scott Soderstrom's loft in Pioneer Square where Terry lived, a musty, creepy rundown shack on Capitol Hill that had the Toy Box’s gear in it for a while, and Earwig Studio (when it was still in Georgetown!)

Produced by Ira Merrill and Don Farwell
Mixed by Don Farwell at Earwig Studio in Seattle
Mastered by Levi Seitz at Blackbelt Mastering in Seattle
Photos by Steve Rydgren of ImaginEssence Photography
Hemlock Pop logo by Chris Weiford
CD art/layout by Ira Merrill

Ira Merrill performed all vocals (except for guest vocal by Hope Simpson of Ever So Android (www.eversoandroid.com) on track 10), all MIDI programming for drums and synths, acoustic and electric guitars, electric bass, and...everything else

THANKS TO:
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Don Farwell/Earwig Studio, Terry Mattson, Levi Seitz/Blackbelt Mastering, Steve Rydgren/Imaginessence Photography, Brinn Cody O’Dwyer, David & Alethea (and Ollie), Pete Reichert, Drew & Hope of Ever So Android, Jodi Opitz and Terry Houser, Emily Diehl & Beez, Chad, Kat and Wren Hanson, Denny Dwyer, John Tjenos, Dane, Steve, Ian and Mike, Arthur Hagman, Susan M. Carr, Mike Lucero, Cynthia McCarty, The Merrills, Patrick Porter, Scott Soderstrom, Ken Stringfellow, and Anthony Disparte for inadvertently inspiring me to make this album in the first place

Instrumental versions of all songs also available (contact me)

VISIT ME:
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www.hemlockpop.com
www.orangepantsrecords.com
www.facebook.com/hemlockpop
www.facebook.com/iramerrill
youtu.be/bN-GX6bJsUY

VISIT FOLKS WHO HELPED ME MAKE/PROMOTE THIS ALBUM:
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www.earwigstudio.com
www.blackbeltmastering.com
www.imaginessence.com
www.fmcollective.org
www.atmosfx.com

THIS ALBUM ALSO AVAILABLE FROM...
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...all the usual suspects including iTunes, Spotify, Google Play, Amazon MP3, Pandora, Rhapsody, Slacker Radio, YouTube Music, and more.

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about

Hemlock Pop Seattle, Washington

Ira Merrill (aka Hemlock Pop) is a singer / songwriter / recording artist / band geek and computer programmer currently residing in the Seattle area. He is the owner and curator of OrangePants Records which features his current and past musical endeavors, and music from his talented friends. ... more

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