Disappear

from Crushing On What Might Be by Hemlock Pop

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About This Track
--------------------

This...is a very claustrophobic, rather frightening song to me...as at the time, it was quite autobiographical. That being said, it is also a candidate for my favorite on the album. A darkly confessional tune about things actually being A-OK, but you can't see that because you feel so caged-in, powerless, and out of control that you've gone numb. This line from the song sums it up: "I feel so dirty though I'm clean / I'm gone (but I'll be here) / Disappear". I stand by the song, but I'm glad as hell I don't feel that way anymore.

- Ira

lyrics

Disappear
------------

In the second reel where I almost feel
That's when I disappear
When I make that choice let you hear my voice
That's when I disappear
The sex and soul and sad parades
The rhymes and wrists and razor blades
This song will sing me in and pull the shades

When I feel the strain of a loved one's pain
That's when I disappear
When the right hook swings and I can't fix things
That's when I disappear
I'm curing in a dark abyss
I'm catatonic cowardice
I'm gearing up to scratch and claw and hiss

For all the scenes I've seen
For all the people's mean
For every life I live and die and in between
I'm Christmas and I'm Halloween
I'm missing though I'm here

Disappear

When I get off track and past comes back
That's when I disappear
When I still believe but the doubts won't leave
That's when I...
I'm choking on the loneliness
I'm holding on with every breath
Cuz I don't wanna hide myself to death

For all the scenes I've seen
For all the people's mean
For every life I live and die and in between
I'm Christmas and I'm Halloween
I feel so dirty though I'm clean
I'm gone (but I'll be here)

Disappear
Disappear
Disappear
Disappear

© 2017 Ira Merrill Music, BMI

credits

from Crushing On What Might Be, released July 21, 2017

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about

Hemlock Pop Seattle, Washington

Ira Merrill (aka Hemlock Pop) is a singer / songwriter / recording artist / band geek and computer programmer currently residing in the Seattle area. He is the owner and curator of OrangePants Records which features his current and past musical endeavors, and music from his talented friends. ... more

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